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Diary HEG #1

Dari berbagai sumber yang ku baca tentang HEG alias Hyper Emesis Gravidarum, kebanyakan yang menuliskan adalah ibu-ibu yang mengalami sendiri. Belom menemukan tulisan dari sisi suami atau keluarga terdekat. Aku pengen mencoba berbagi pengalaman HEG dari sudut pandang suami.

Ketika postingan ini saya tuliskan, kondisi istri saya sedang hamil kira-kira 4 minggu. Karena belum ada niatan untuk datang ke dokter, maklum ini bukan anak pertama. Biasanya yang paling rajin kontrol adalah ketika anak pertama saja. Hahaha

Sekarang adalah kehamilan ketiga sejak kami menikah 6 tahun lalu. Kehamilan pertama juga pada bulan-bulan ini, juli-agustus 2013. Karena belum ada pengalaman sama sekali, kami sangat rutin untuk kontrol ke obgyn setiap bulan, USG dan multivitamin. Dulu pengalamannya dengan dr. Gharini Paramitha di salah satu klinik yang saat ini sudah tutup. Ditambah dengan second opinion dokter lain di RS PMI, dr. Vivi Sylvia. Terus terang aku dan istri lebih cocok dengan dr. Vivi, tapi ya karen…
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Officially 30

Thank to Allah that already give me 30 years of life and also thanks to my parents of rise me up.
Thanks to my love live partner that accompany me for last 6 years of marriage and my beloved daughter for 4 years of her life.

Yes, today my age officially turns to 30. Some people said that life begins at 30. I don't believe that, because life begins when we come to this world. Pardon me if we have different perception for this.

What the meaning 30 for me?

1. 14 years life at hometown and 16 years life far from home
2. 6 years of marriage (yes, I get married at 24)
3. 4 years old of my daughter
4. 3rd years of house loan
5. and another things

People said that we can easily to know what is our minus :
1. Sometime I still not giving 100% to anything I did
2. Easily get distracted
3. Cannot focuss
4. Irresponsible
5. Immature 

I want to fix that after this, for not running from responsibility.

But I want to tell you that I've been gain for positive life :
1. Confidence
2. Analytical 
3. Consistency
4. …

Live Long and Prosper

When I decide to get married in relatively young age, I really know my purpose to do that. First and the main reason, I want to get married with my parents and parent-in-laws still alive and healthy. Another main purpose was to get and gain and create our own happiness for me and my wife. 
It's never be easy with this decision, but I always realize that I want to happy and feel love. We have similar purpose on this life. We want to chase higher education. We want to live in Europe. We create great bond that could make each other stronger. 
In the end, I want to reach all of my purposes with my wife Debby Puspa Bahri. She makes me feel completed. 
Thanks for being part of my life and keep stay with me until now and forever. 

Merayakan 30

At the beginning of year, I haven't create resolution and target yet. I have several issue that hit me so hard.

First one, I have review score from my company. It just average score. Below of most people in my technology division. Actually, all people got above average score but me. I was angered, confused, and feels damned. What's wrong with the score of my performance? My technology division got best team on the company. But not helping my score to increased.

Second, after my beloved wife got miscarriage. She need more time to be relax and something to do for making herself comfortable. So, she leave for rest and got some trip to Bandung for 1 month by now.

I really confuse when I write this. I was angered, but with who? I was confused, but by what?

Later, my wife tells me what wrong.

She told me that, the problem is myself :

1. Big ego, because I cannot being critized
2. Have no dedication for anything that I did
3. Never give 100% effort to anything that I did
4. Never really finis…

My 2017 Review

2017 is over few days ago. For me year used for milestone, some period that we need to improve.

Let make it simple.

Work :
1. I develop few payment gateway to my job, and did few of high priority task.
2. 3 times called by another company :, and In every company that called me, I know my weakness : technical, architectural and English skill.
3. First time I recognize my real weakness in my job : consistency and responsibility. 2 times called by lead and HR. Fortunately, my boss is a good boss. Instead of blaming me, he choose to give a chance and give another perspective on my task.
4. Hopeless Interview : Grab and Amazon Prime. There is no next phase after get message on LinkedIn.

1. 5th wedding anniversary. Hopefully, we can tighten our bonds and happiness.
2. 3rd birthday of Merida Volarea Tsurayya. Keep smart kiddo.
3. Coming Home : Kabanjahe and Banjarbaru
4. Visit Cirebon on my uncle new office.
5. Misscarriage. I still blame you RSIA Bunda Suryatni!

7 Week of Togetherness

Last week is kind of nightmare in my family life. We lost (future) baby. 7 week is the time that given by Allah for us. 
My beloved wife knows that she was pregnant about 3 week before. She know it because of sympton like nausea, gastritis and throw up anything she ate. One time she said that she want to surrender with this pregnancy period. But I said, No! This is our hope, wish and pray. We should not betray our pray that already given. 
Monday late night Dec 10, she asked to go emergency at hospital. We expect that she will have a good bedrest at hospital. Then I chose VIP class to make sure she had rest well and my daughter can come inside too. 
Then Allah has another plan for us. My wife got fatal allergic to Ranitidine that make her sent to ICU. She need 4'hours to get her health stable. After that, she bleeding that com out from her wombs. We afraid. We scared. But staff and doctor always said calm down, and this case need to be observed for next 2 days. 
My wife know her body …

Lyfe is Love Live

Few days ago, I've been asked by my boss to discuss something about my performance at work. I really appreciate him for everything that he give to the team, every chance and trust to his team. In that meeting, we discuss about anything that (maybe) distract my work performance. He still give a huge chance for me. Then make sure, I still have focuss to the job.

In another day, I tell this story to my wife. She told me that my boss is true. Then she told me anything about me and my character. Sometimes, critics and suggestions are harsh words for me. (Then I realized that I'm an anti critics). But when the words came from the one you loved and love you too, it's called Love. She try to make me better. As simply as that.

When we face something wrong on our life, we cannot just blame someone or something. It's must be something wrong with yourself. I just realized it now.

I always depend on someone. Less responsible. Not detail oriented. Dirty code. Not giving 110% of my…